Any relationship begins with attraction. If you get the thing or person you are attracted to easily, the attraction ends. But if it is a little difficult to get it, then love for it develops in your mind. When you fall in love, after a short time you start demanding more love in the relationship. But whenever you start demanding in love, love decreases, happiness starts decreasing and you say, 'Oh, I made a mistake by entering this relationship.' Then there is struggle and sadness to get out of that relationship. Many times after getting out of one relationship, you enter another relationship and the same story starts again.

Relationships require not just attraction but love as well. Attraction is aggressive; love is surrender. This is the difference between love and attraction. Although attraction is the first step, you cannot stay at the first step for long. You have to move to the next step, that is love.

Three things are important in any relationship: right perception, right observation and right expression. Often people say that nobody understands them. Instead of saying that nobody understands you, you can say that you have not expressed yourself properly. For example, if you talk to a person from Spain in Russian, they will definitely not understand you. Right perception can happen when you put yourself in the other person's place and see the situation. You may have understood correctly, but how do you react? How do you feel inside yourself? Thus, observing your mind is another important aspect. Observing what feelings you have inside you and what your attitude is is also very important. So, to maintain intimacy in a relationship, first understand the perception of the other person, then observe yourself and then express yourself correctly.

The whole life is based on these three things only: perception, observation and expression. Every mistake you make is not really a mistake; it is a process of learning three important aspects of life. We need to broaden our perception. Do not look at someone only from the outside. If a person is short tempered, we blame that person for his behaviour but if we look from a broader perspective, many aspects will come to light like the person is angry due to a particular reason and this is getting expressed in his behaviour. When our scope of perception increases, we will not only avoid blaming anyone but also accept them and see the whole situation from a broader perspective. Thus, broadening perception will help us to improve our relationships.

The second aspect of improving relationships is sharing and allowing others to share as well. Suppose you are doing everything but you don’t let the other person do anything in return, then you are taking away their self-worth. Sometimes people say, “Oh look, I did so much but still that person doesn’t love me.” Why? Because they feel uncomfortable. Love happens when there is reciprocity. And that can happen only when you give them an opportunity to do something for you. This requires a little skill. We have to be skilled in getting the other to contribute without asking for it. In a relationship, see that the other also contributes to your life so that they don’t feel totally worthless. Self-worth is necessary for love to blossom. This is the second important secret.

The third aspect of a relationship is to give enough space. When you love someone, you don't give them enough breathing space and that can be suffocating. Suffocation kills love. Respect each other's space. Take some time off. Love needs longing to grow. That is why in ancient times it was customary to send wives to their mothers for one month a year. In that one month longing was created within the husband and wife and their love for each other grew. If you don't allow longing in your relationship, love doesn't grow and attraction is lost.

And the fourth aspect is that relationship should not be considered as the main meal but as a dessert to be eaten at the end of a meal. If your life is focused on one goal, then you move in that direction and your relationship will keep moving forward together. If all your focus is only on your relationship then it will not work. Also, have a goal of doing some service in your life. Sharing and serving will increase your capacity to love and accept. If you have set service as a goal and both of you move forward in that direction together then there will be no problem. Service is an essential ingredient for a successful relationship.